How not to drive

Grew up in Lagos Second word was danfo after NEPA Developed morbid fascination for the yellow death traps. Dreamed of owning an okada at age 5. Outgrew that dream by age 7 after the houseboy had a ghastly accident. Learned how to 'move' the car at age 12 from mummy's illiterate driver. Stopped burning the clutch by age 15 (if you were not lucky enough to have access to an automatic). "Mirror, signal, maneuver?". That's your system for calling babes over to offer them a ride, nothing rondo with safe driving. 'Chooking head' is the only legitimate way to enter an intersection. Giving way to traffic on the left is wimpish. Roundabouts were clearly meant for testing people's brakes. There's no slow lane or fast lane, you over take on any clear lane. An amber light to you means speed up, not slow down. You didn't even see the zebra crossing. Signs? What signs? LASTMA officials are there to interrupt your phone calls when you hide your handset as you pass them by. Keeping to your lane on a roundabout? What's that? Using the left most lane to exit at the first turningn on a roundabout is beyond Lagos drivers it seems. Squeezing into the 'safety' distance left by that Egbert driver and making him slam on the brakes is just good sense. Trafficating before I change lane, I'm too smart for that! The speed limit for any road is determined by the condition of the road and the engine in your car. Right of way is determined by the size of you vehicle. If more two of these resonate with you, you are most likely a Lagos driver. And guess what? YOU CAN NOT DRIVE! Don't pass go and head straight to the nearest driving school. And oh, try not to scratch any cars on the way. So Lagos, what have your fellow drivers done to upset you today?

Electronic Money

Sometimes we don't know how good we have it. When the Nuban number  system was being introduced, InsideLagos like the rest of us obviously didn't read the small print. We thought that this was just another harebrained scheme to fritter away public funds and line private pockets. How wrong we were. Instant interbank transfer! I have it on good authority that there are some 1st world countries today who have still not managed this feat. We thought that two day clearing was neat (though a bit annoying as you have less time to confirm a cheque before it is returned), and same day international transfers were even better. Even the NEFT/NIBSS same day transfer was a real treat. But instant transfers? Out of this world! Inside Lagos is pleased.

One area that has been very aggressive in their marketing of new products to customers have been the banking industry, and we have seen some astonishing features in the offerings of our financial institutions. Sleek web pages, funky tokens, services such as visa or bill payments, all delivered with the style and panache that only Nigerians can deliver.

So well done CBN; well done banks. This is one area where Nigerians can boast of good service and ample choice so please keep up the good work.

Dirty Money

The Naira makes the phrase 'filthy lucre' take on a very literal meaning. Why is Nigerian money so dirty though? We had experimented with polymer notes and it seems that experiment went well, though it could be that these denominations are so low they are too unpopular to be passed through many hands. Still if the experiment was successful, this concept should be rolled out to some of the other notes, and quickly too!

If the CBN was really serious about a cashless (or is it cashlite) Lagos, all they have to do is let people in on what is actually on the money we carry around in our purses and wallets. That would get the cheque books out and the number of ATM card applications up real quick! Indeed, if politicians could be sufficiently put off with health risks we could see a marked reduction in Ghana-must-go bags stuffed with our local currency. Wishful think I know, but still we can dream can't we.

So what do you think Lagos? Should we change the material of our currency, redenominate it or leave the status quo?